However bizarre Ozzy Osbourne might be, he does know his craft. A song for all seasons, a song for all reasons. This one fits me to the T right now.
Everything feels weird right now. The journey back here, re-settling, meeting friends, seeing the campus and even that familiar skip in my heartbeat. I just feel too dang awkward right now. Dunno what happened. I feel like a fish in a bowl. I can see the sunlight, but I can't feel it. And for once in my life the stupid jokes and self-deprecation are singularly failing. I'm not moping or anything, but I'm not exactly enjoying life at the moment.
My last few blogs haven't been on the cheery side either. This past fortnight has come and gone without me feeling one way or the other. The fun has gone somehow. Whether it was the shit going on at home or some reaction from the hectic first term, but I can honestly say that I wasn't overjoyed to be back home. The only saving grace was meeting my family, though they managed to mess up my head again. And now I'm back, but the same condition has persisted. It's like a disease sucking out all vitality from my psyche, leaving me a depressed idiot who can barely muster a smile now.
Hopefully these blues are temporary. Certainly don't feel like it. Something is building up inside me - frustration, anger, who knows? I don't want it to explode. Too much poison swilling around for me to handle. That's why I'm writing this sob story, to let off some of the excess baggage. It doesn't seem to be working right now. Daybreak is eons away, and the sun seems to be a myth. Heh. And people think I keep my emotions bottled up. To paraphrase Ozzy, "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train". Let's hope I find my way back.
Everything feels weird right now. The journey back here, re-settling, meeting friends, seeing the campus and even that familiar skip in my heartbeat. I just feel too dang awkward right now. Dunno what happened. I feel like a fish in a bowl. I can see the sunlight, but I can't feel it. And for once in my life the stupid jokes and self-deprecation are singularly failing. I'm not moping or anything, but I'm not exactly enjoying life at the moment.
My last few blogs haven't been on the cheery side either. This past fortnight has come and gone without me feeling one way or the other. The fun has gone somehow. Whether it was the shit going on at home or some reaction from the hectic first term, but I can honestly say that I wasn't overjoyed to be back home. The only saving grace was meeting my family, though they managed to mess up my head again. And now I'm back, but the same condition has persisted. It's like a disease sucking out all vitality from my psyche, leaving me a depressed idiot who can barely muster a smile now.
Hopefully these blues are temporary. Certainly don't feel like it. Something is building up inside me - frustration, anger, who knows? I don't want it to explode. Too much poison swilling around for me to handle. That's why I'm writing this sob story, to let off some of the excess baggage. It doesn't seem to be working right now. Daybreak is eons away, and the sun seems to be a myth. Heh. And people think I keep my emotions bottled up. To paraphrase Ozzy, "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train". Let's hope I find my way back.
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