Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Run To You

Can't help it anymore. I've studiously tried to avoid any direct mention of affairs of the heart, but it is getting too much now. I need to put these thoughts down so that the palpitations can slow down for a bit. Not for too long though, for it's a sweet sweet ache.

I keep thinking about her. Every waking instant, every dreaming eternity. She's always there, never intruding too much but tantalizingly close to the margins of my conscious. My heart skips a beat every time I see her, my mouth starts to babble every time I talk to her. Her smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I crack every possible stupid joke to catch one more glimpse of it on her radiant face. I can never feel sad when I'm around her. She lights me up inside, makes me believe in the goodness in this world. I'm crazy about her, and getting crazier by the second.

She is definitely one of the prettiest girls I've ever met. She's also smart and talented and fun to hang out with. But even beyond that, there is this...this link, this crackling buzzing link with some weird energy flowing through it, drawing us together. We exchange smiles, share inside jokes, steal glances at each other. I've never opened up to someone to the extent that I've with her. I've never felt so comfortable, so...right with a girl, ever. I'm a bit of a romantic, but I never ever expected to feel like this.

Is it one-sided? I'm never sure. Depends on my mood. Do I tell her how I feel? Of course. But how? No clue. I can force fate's hand, but I don't want to mess things up, and she is too important to me to take the risk. But if I keep sitting on my behind then something might change, the spark might go out and I would lose my chance. What do I do? If only I knew what she thought about me. How would that help? Even if she hated me with the bottom of her heart I'd still not give up.

What to do? I hope I get the answer soon. Till then, like this Bryan Adams song says, I'll keep worshiping her no matter what.

2 comments:

Kirra Serra said...

Oh, I finally found you. Good to see you back.
Do yourself a favour and spread the word! Betty still doesn't know.
I have a lot of your posts to catch up on. So wait patiently and keep checking older posts for comments.
Meanwhile, comment on mine. Now. Go.

Kirra Serra said...

Also, change the colour of your blog (literally and figuratively). As for your profile, there has got to be more to you than a blank. Write something there.