Friday, October 09, 2009

Somebody Save Me

I'm too damn moody. One moment I'd be fizzing with positive energy, thinking that everything is all right as can be in this world and then suddenly it vanishes, to be replaced by lethargy and utter gloom. I might be the most social of people at one instant and a misanthrope the next. I've given up trying to analyze this happenstance. It's probably a function of the turmoil my mind is in these days. You can't expect your brain to be pulled in different directions without some aftereffects.

Currently there a lot of pressures on my puny shoulders. Internship process, academics, not to mention the situation back home. Then there are the affairs of the heart, exhilarating sometimes and downright confusing otherwise. I am anyway not a particularly confident or self-assured person in this department. Coupled with the social skills and idiocy of a rampaging rhinoceros, I guess it's going to be pretty tough going. Just once, just once I wish I was handed something on a silver platter. But then again, I'd probably not value it as much.

The song is by Remy Zero. A line goes 'Let your warm hands break right through me'. I have everything in life but that. I've never felt that warmth, never opened my heart and soul to anyone. Time and time again, I've come across someone and desperately wished for an end to this emptiness, for that spark that'd light me up. But they were all false promises, mere shadows of what I yearned for. Yet I still kept on hoping. I'm a foolish romantic at heart and it just seemed right that somewhere out there would be that special someone that'd complete me. And then she came.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Maybe it's yet another desperate bid by my psyche to end the loneliness by any means necessary. Then again, maybe it's not...

1 comment:

Kirra Serra said...

And what's so wrong even if it is?
And you might want to tell me who it is (this with a pout, since you didn't tell me anything when you came last... but then again you did hint... oh, so that is what you meant...)