Not a song that a guy like me would typically listen to. But I am a gaming junkie and I'd a copy of Guitar Hero III. Thus I got to hear this Pat Benatar song. It's not exactly in keeping with the spirit of the following piece but the title appeals a lot to me. So what the heck, let's get on with it.
I'm a geek. There. I said it. I was never a stud. The odds of someone actually mistaking me for one are pretty astronomical. I'm not the epitome of flowering youth. Not for me is supping with buxom blondes whose visages make grown men drool. I'd be lucky to be even within sighting distance of them. And that's the way it should be. Evolution is geared towards survival of the species, and it'd be much better for all and sundry if there is no interaction between said well-endowed beauties and yours truly. The frequency mismatch is just too big to overcome. I know jack about colour coordination, while knockouts are generally lacking in their awareness of Middle Earth. Destructive interference would be inevitable and the gene pool would certainly go for a toss. So I have no choice but to accept my lot in life, however tortured my gonads might be.
That's not to say that I came empty-handed into this mortal realm. I'm blessed with quite a decent amount of grey matter and this is what I leverage to get ahead in life. I might not be in danger of winning any beauty contests, but if we are to go by cinematic precedents it's generally the intelligent guy in the posse who makes it to the climax with minimal dismemberment. Bimbos are good for the morale and add a lot of aesthetic value, but they are also liable to get you killed in a whole lot of dramatic and totally gruesome ways. My focus, hence, is to utilize my talents for the benefit of humanity.
How do I go about doing that, you ask? Well first and foremost is ensuring a very opulent existence for myself. Only when I'm sated with the finest wines and sumptuous foods will I be able to turn my thoughts to greater philosophical dilemmas. Some of my biggest breakthroughs have come in said fashion. The Law of Infinite Transitivity is one that comes to mind. It basically says that A is never equal to B, instead A=C=D=...Z=1=2=...ad infinitum till it finally equals B. Such incisive thinking and I'm all of twenty years. Brilliance is not constrained by mere age.
Coming back to the point, after I'm comfortably ensconced in some cushioned seat surrounded by blooming flowers and tweeting birds I'll muse on the ills of this world of ours. Most people would shun a burden like this, but I will grab the opportunity with both hands. I'm one of the chosen few. I'm not an air-headed lily who is there for the ornamental value. I'm a shaper of men's fortunes, a wise sage under whose benevolent care this world will prosper. Humanity doesn't know how lucky it is to have a demi-god like me in its midst. I'll take our kind to new heights without even leaving the comforts of my cushioned chair.
People say I'm an egomaniac. So what if I am? Greatness is not to be ashamed of. It needs all the spotlights it can get. Attention only serves to enhance it, like the blushing bud that opens under the caring gaze of the morning sun. So continue worshiping me. Adore me, hate me, lambast me, criticize me. I don't really get affected by what you say. As long as I'm in the forefront of your puny minds I'm more than satisfied. The ocean is filled by little rain drops. An egomaniac needs all the sustenance he or she can get. So grab onto those bouquets/brickbats and let 'er rip!
I'm a geek. There. I said it. I was never a stud. The odds of someone actually mistaking me for one are pretty astronomical. I'm not the epitome of flowering youth. Not for me is supping with buxom blondes whose visages make grown men drool. I'd be lucky to be even within sighting distance of them. And that's the way it should be. Evolution is geared towards survival of the species, and it'd be much better for all and sundry if there is no interaction between said well-endowed beauties and yours truly. The frequency mismatch is just too big to overcome. I know jack about colour coordination, while knockouts are generally lacking in their awareness of Middle Earth. Destructive interference would be inevitable and the gene pool would certainly go for a toss. So I have no choice but to accept my lot in life, however tortured my gonads might be.
That's not to say that I came empty-handed into this mortal realm. I'm blessed with quite a decent amount of grey matter and this is what I leverage to get ahead in life. I might not be in danger of winning any beauty contests, but if we are to go by cinematic precedents it's generally the intelligent guy in the posse who makes it to the climax with minimal dismemberment. Bimbos are good for the morale and add a lot of aesthetic value, but they are also liable to get you killed in a whole lot of dramatic and totally gruesome ways. My focus, hence, is to utilize my talents for the benefit of humanity.
How do I go about doing that, you ask? Well first and foremost is ensuring a very opulent existence for myself. Only when I'm sated with the finest wines and sumptuous foods will I be able to turn my thoughts to greater philosophical dilemmas. Some of my biggest breakthroughs have come in said fashion. The Law of Infinite Transitivity is one that comes to mind. It basically says that A is never equal to B, instead A=C=D=...Z=1=2=...ad infinitum till it finally equals B. Such incisive thinking and I'm all of twenty years. Brilliance is not constrained by mere age.
Coming back to the point, after I'm comfortably ensconced in some cushioned seat surrounded by blooming flowers and tweeting birds I'll muse on the ills of this world of ours. Most people would shun a burden like this, but I will grab the opportunity with both hands. I'm one of the chosen few. I'm not an air-headed lily who is there for the ornamental value. I'm a shaper of men's fortunes, a wise sage under whose benevolent care this world will prosper. Humanity doesn't know how lucky it is to have a demi-god like me in its midst. I'll take our kind to new heights without even leaving the comforts of my cushioned chair.
People say I'm an egomaniac. So what if I am? Greatness is not to be ashamed of. It needs all the spotlights it can get. Attention only serves to enhance it, like the blushing bud that opens under the caring gaze of the morning sun. So continue worshiping me. Adore me, hate me, lambast me, criticize me. I don't really get affected by what you say. As long as I'm in the forefront of your puny minds I'm more than satisfied. The ocean is filled by little rain drops. An egomaniac needs all the sustenance he or she can get. So grab onto those bouquets/brickbats and let 'er rip!
2 comments:
So basically: "comment on my blog".
That'll save the world.
You asked her out, didn't you? :p
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