The Unfinished Melody

Presenting the first (and only) scene till now of a potential play idea which I will now develop into a book some time soon. Hopefully it passes muster.

Trouble in Paradise

Scene 1

(The centre-stage is lit up showing a drawing room. A door bangs somewhere in the background and a man comes in the centre. He is looking extremely tired and is in typical formal office wear, with his tie half undone, suit slung over one shoulder and a laptop bag across the other. He dumps everything on a chair and collapses on the other chair with a deep sigh. He proceeds to kick off his shoes and prop up his legs on the table)

Anuj

(loudly) Malti…Malti!...Bah! Late again! In spite of promising that she’ll be back home early! She might as well put a bed in her damned office!

(He gets up with a heavy sigh, strolls towards the fridge and takes out a beer)

(Popping open the can) Ah! That’s the stuff. Did I need that or what! Now let’s see whether Her Highness left anything to eat. (Rummages around in the fridge) Fuck! Even the milk has gone bad! Yeech! (Slamming it shut) I told her that we should hire a maid but nooo! (Walking towards the sofa) Madam thinks everyone in this city wants to steal her jewellery. And here I am, tired, starving and sick of Mexican, Italian, Continental and all possible varieties of raw fish. (Looking to the heavens) Mummy, tu mujhe kyon chhod gayi! Tere haath ke khaane ke liye tarasta hoon. Garam roti toh kya, ab toh thandi bread bhi naseeb nahin hoti hai!

(He finishes his beer and lies down on the sofa. He casts one last exasperated glance at his watch before closing his eyes and going off to sleep)

(After a few moments, the sound of the door being opened is heard again. The clatter of heels signals the arrival of Malti, Anuj’s wife. She too is dressed in business formals and looks even more tired, the dark circles under her eyes especially pronounced. She lets out a disgusted grunt at the sight of her snoring husband and the beer can on the floor)

Malti

(Muttering) Typical! Drunk off his ass as usual. The bastard didn’t even bother to change! (Shaking him roughly) Anuj! Anuj!

Anuj

(Getting up hurriedly) Um…ah…what? Oh hi darling. Back from office?

Malti

(Sarcastically) No baby. I got you airlifted to my office because I couldn’t live even one more moment without you!

Anuj

Really?

Malti

Of course not you idiot! God you are still drunk!

Anuj

Hey! I only had one beer. A rabbit wouldn’t get drunk on that much.

Malti

Well you certainly are hare-brained!

Anuj

Enough with the personal attacks already! Come here and give me some sugar baby doll! (puckering up his lips)

Malti

Piss off! You smell like an open gutter!

Anuj

(Rummaging frantically in his pocket) Phikr mat karo jaan. Mere paas iska bhi ilaaj hai! (muttering) Ab woh Chlormint ka packet kahan chala gaya?

Malti

Forget it! I’m shit tired and “giving you some sugar” is the last thing I want to do right now. (She walks towards the fridge)

Anuj

(Sarcastically) Oh yeah, that load of crap again! (In a feminine voice) “Oh Anuj I’m so tired today!”; “Not today honey. I need to wake up early tomorrow”; “I have a headache”; “I’m not in the mood”; “My head is not in it”…

Malti

All you do is think about sex!

Anuj

Of course I do, because I am not getting any!

Malti

Right right…remember last Saturday? I was totally into it but nooo, the Great Big Stud with the Penis from Heaven can’t hold it in for two seconds! Even pubescent teenagers have more control than you!

Anuj

It is not my fault that Ms. Touch-me-Not takes a decade to climax!

Malti

I take time to climax? I TAKE TIME TO CLIMAX? You do it like a hyperactive chimpanzee and expect me to be aroused by that?

Anuj

(Getting up) Hey!

Malti

Don’t “Hey” me you bastard! I’m working myself to the bone here, but do I get any sympathy? No! (Pointing to the fridge) All I get is an overgrown baby and nothing to eat!

Anuj

And whose fault is that?

Malti

Not mine your asshole! It was your turn to get the groceries.

Anuj

(Faltering) It was?

Malti

(Pointing to a chart on the fridge with a flourish) Exhibit A.

Anuj

(Getting agitated) I am sick of you and your charts! Can’t you just tell me when it is my turn, instead of making these complicated chart thingies that no one in their right mind can ever understand? And anyway, I’m a man. It is not my job to buy groceries!

Malti

A man hunh? Little baby can’t keep his pee-pee up for two seconds and thinks he is a man.

Anuj

At least I still have some libido. You have the sex drive of a door knob!

Malti

That’s it! You are sleeping on the couch! (Storming off the stage)

Anuj

(Shouting after her) Fine by me! It’d be definitely be more exciting than sharing a bed with you!

(A loud bang is heard as Malti slams the bedroom door shut. Anuj starts angrily pacing the room)

(Grumbling) Khud toh bhookhi rahegi mujhe bhi saath mein bhookha maregi! 9 baje se pehle kabhi ghar aati nahin and expects me to run the entire household on my own. Fine wife she turned out to be! (Sitting down heavily on the sofa) Kahan phans gaya yaar! Love marriage ka Love to jaata raha, Marriage bhi ab khatam ho rahi hai. Not that she cares, bitch!

(Music, Lights fade out)