For a change the song is not concordant with my thoughts. It's in fact quite anti-thetic to it. Harry Chapin's iconic lyrics depict a distant father-son relationship, which is far from what I have with my own parents. Truth be told, a little distance would be appreciated every now and then.
Scratch my last post. Nothing has changed. I spent three months in a bubble while the world went on same as before, waiting for me to come out before messing up my head all over again. Specifically my parents. People think I'm a kid? They should see them go at it. Raising hell over the most trivial of things, and me stuck in the middle as the hapless referee. It's deja vu times a hundred, yet another crushing rotation of the millstone. I thought I'd left this behind. I'd thought things will change, people will change. Isn't life supposed to be bloody dynamic?
People tell me that I wear a mask, that I don't reveal my true emotions. It's nurture, not nature. This is my defense mechanism - laugh everything off, even if that's the last thing I want to do. Those close to me know the turmoil that I keep bottled up inside. Just because I don't give you a glimpse into my thoughts doesn't mean I don't respect you or care for you. I just don't want to burden others with my own shit. And maybe that's why I go absolutely ape-shit after imbibing too much liquor. So much loopiness has to be let off once in a while, beacause one way or the other it will.
I was forced to grow up pretty early. There is not much logic going around in the household and I had to pull my weight. This, coupled with a whole lot of external factors has made for an exciting upbringing. Cataclysmic upheavals every couple of years do make for an interesting mix, not to mention toughening for the nerves and sinews. I turned out pretty okay in the end, so I have no regrets.
Of course my parents love me, and I return that love with every fibre of my being. I'll do my utmost to make their lives easier. But the overload of responsibilities is starting to take its toll. I'm not asking for much. I am happy paying as many bills as they want. Just don't mess up my head so much by making me play mediator. That very well might be the straw that will break the camel's back.
Scratch my last post. Nothing has changed. I spent three months in a bubble while the world went on same as before, waiting for me to come out before messing up my head all over again. Specifically my parents. People think I'm a kid? They should see them go at it. Raising hell over the most trivial of things, and me stuck in the middle as the hapless referee. It's deja vu times a hundred, yet another crushing rotation of the millstone. I thought I'd left this behind. I'd thought things will change, people will change. Isn't life supposed to be bloody dynamic?
People tell me that I wear a mask, that I don't reveal my true emotions. It's nurture, not nature. This is my defense mechanism - laugh everything off, even if that's the last thing I want to do. Those close to me know the turmoil that I keep bottled up inside. Just because I don't give you a glimpse into my thoughts doesn't mean I don't respect you or care for you. I just don't want to burden others with my own shit. And maybe that's why I go absolutely ape-shit after imbibing too much liquor. So much loopiness has to be let off once in a while, beacause one way or the other it will.
I was forced to grow up pretty early. There is not much logic going around in the household and I had to pull my weight. This, coupled with a whole lot of external factors has made for an exciting upbringing. Cataclysmic upheavals every couple of years do make for an interesting mix, not to mention toughening for the nerves and sinews. I turned out pretty okay in the end, so I have no regrets.
Of course my parents love me, and I return that love with every fibre of my being. I'll do my utmost to make their lives easier. But the overload of responsibilities is starting to take its toll. I'm not asking for much. I am happy paying as many bills as they want. Just don't mess up my head so much by making me play mediator. That very well might be the straw that will break the camel's back.
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